Over the Noise
by WP
Summary: Set after the BBQ mess during 'Katie'. What if who Emily was becoming wasn't who she wanted to be and she sought out Naomi.


A/N: Hi all, it's been a while for me, a couple of years probably, but ff has been reentering my life and the latest rewatch of Season 4 has sprung the below. I truly hope you enjoy.

This is set after the BBQ incident in 'Katie'.

**Over the Noise**

Naomi Campbell is currently trapped in her own home.

Her girlfriend has just gyrated on and made out with some random tag along. In the middle of their back garden with her own friends and family as an audience.

Before this, the punishment had been private, it had been from Emily to her and every bit of it was deserved. That's why they had lived like this since the roof. Since Emily came back to her. But now it was no longer Emily punishing Naomi. This was something else, something poisonous and destructive.

Her Em's was becoming more and more of a memory with everyday they spent like this.

Neither of them had been happy. Quite the opposite, but until now, it hadn't hit Naomi that the punishment she was accepting wasn't necessarily the right thing to do. She deserved it, yes, absolutely, but by allowing Emily to tear in to her whenever the pain became to much, she was allowing Emily to lose herself in that pain, to relive it every time. Neither of them was getting the chance to heal.

She was pacing the small square of clear floor in their room. Her room. She wasn't sure anymore. They still shared the room but there was no consistency of who slept where. More often than not, Naomi would be so afraid to go to bed either because Emily wasn't there, or alternatively, because she was, that she would end up making excuses until she passed out on the sofa bed in the corner or downstairs.

But now, the entire Fitch clan had moved in and they were out of spare bedrooms.

As she continued to pace and bite at her thumbnail, she could feel the gnawing twinge in the bit of her stomach slowly growing up and throughout her entire mid section. It was terror. Things had gone too far today. Emily… she was unrecognizable. Mean, manipulative, she went out of her way to hurt Naomi and her own Mum.

The blonde wanted to run. She wanted to be out of this house that was weighed down by despair and hurt. It was going to ruin them all if it didn't change. But for it to change, she'd need to either gain Emily's forgiveness, or have Emily leave her.

But talking wasn't going to come easy. They'd said so much since it happened, yet had yet to really say anything at all.

Everyone talk that started out as a positive sharing of their thoughts and needs always devolved into sobbing and angry words. Lately, they hadn't even had that. Emily had barely been back to the house the past 4 days, then when she was it was hardly happy families.

Naomi felt like she was slowly, agonizingly losing Emily. But it was her punishment to watch it happen; to have her just within reach but to be cursed to watch it happen. She knew one day she would wake up without Emily and this time she wouldn't come home.

She realized now that she'd stopped pacing at some point and was perched on the edge of the sofa with her head in her hands. She let out an exasperated sigh and tried to stop herself from shaking. She hadn't changed out of her wet clothes since the paddling pool incident. It didn't matter though, they were just damp now. Besides, she was pretty sure that Katie would still be hogging the bathroom anyway. Had to have been in there for at least an hour so far.

Just then she heard doors shuffling and assumed that Katie was now finished. Sighing, she stood up and grabbed a pair of PJ bottoms and a T shift before heading for the door. After listening a moment, she knew there was no one walking about in the hallway and she slipped of her room.

As she was passing by the spare room, she heard her. Only just and only for a moment, but she heard Emily. She was sobbing but it was muffled. When she heard another voice, she knew Katie was in there with her. Swallow back the lump in her throat, she continued to the bathroom know that Emily was better off with Katie.

With that thought, Naomi continued to the bathroom with the intention of only getting out of her wet clothes. She would have no hot bath or shower, she didn't deserve that kind of comfort.

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After a quick dry off and change, Naomi exited the bathroom with her arms would tightly around herself. She couldn't shake the coldness that had settled in her bones. Sure, it must be due to her dunk, but she was pretty sure that it was just as much about the loss she felt was now inescapable.

Pushing open her room door, she entered and was heading directly for her bed when she saw a flash of red and stopped in her tracks.

"Emily."

The red head held her gaze but said nothing. Naomi felt her chest burn in pain at the pale, red-eyed girl in front of her. This isn't how it should be. She should be on her knees, begging again for forgiveness and taking all of the pain and hurt from what she had done on to her own shoulders.

"I should go. You should sleep here." She fumbled out while searching for a jumper or a blanket to drag downstairs.

Emily almost chuckled to herself. The blondes first instinct was always to run.

"It's your room." She stated with a ragged voice.

Naomi froze and looked towards Emily but not at her.

"Our room." She corrected quietly.

Emily let out a slight nod. That's what they agreed, that everything was all shared now that they were each one half of the same whole. Then Sofia died and her secrets came tumbling out and dragged them down with her.

"I'm sorry for the garden." Emily said softly, unable to specifically reference the girl she'd kissed or the dive tackle in to the pool. "I'm not… I'm becoming someone else. I'm just so angry."

"At me. At what I did. I know. You get to act however you want. I deserve anything you can through at me. But, your Mum? Katie? They don't deserve to be caught in what's meant for me."

Emily craned her neck to look up at Naomi. She looked like a shy little kid who was getting disciplined. Like she was expected to be shouted at and told off. If only it was that simply.

"Sit down." It wasn't intended as a command but she was so exhausted that it didn't seem worth softening such a simple instruction.

Naomi done as she was told and sat on the bed at the furthest possible point from Emily. She didn't want to make her any more uncomfortable than she was.

"My mum, Katie, they didn't deserve the things I said. You didn't deserve what I did…. With that girl."

The blonde couldn't help but interrupt. "I do deserve it. It's still not as bad as what I done to you, Em's."

Emily's voice was no longer tired and timid. "No. Don't make it an excuse, don't pretend that any of this is right."

Naomi let her head fall. This was it. This was when it would all finally end.

"I can't be like this anymore. I hate who I've become. What I'm doing to you. It's not making me feel any better to watch you suffer but what else can I do? I hate what you've done to us. It's all I think about. I see her every time I look at you. And when I walk about this house, I picture her on the sofa, drinking tea in the kitchen… I see her on you." The last part was a strangled and bitter noise.

Naomi rubbed her face in her hands, willing herself not to cry. She had no right to cry.

"I don't want you to leave." She stated. All she could think was that this was the last time she'd ever speak to Emily again. "But don't stay if you can't." She choked back the urge to sob. "Don't let me wreck you."

Emily's eyes had long since welled up but now her tears were starting to fall.

"I gave all of my good to you. Every part of what made me decent was because of you, for you. Then you fucked it. You fucked her. Now… now I'm broken."

"I'm so sorry. All I am is sorry and I deserve everything you can think to throw at me, but when will this end? This isn't how your life should be."

Emily realized at that moment, that Naomi just wanted someone to tell her how to fix the mess she created. That she wanted to know if it was even possible. But she didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

"Fix it. Please fix it for me. Please. I don't want this-this pain; I can't keep making you suffer everyday. Please, fix it, Nai."

At Emily's plea, Naomi braced herself against the wave of emotion trying to explode from her as she gripped the edge of the bed and every muscle in her body tensed. Her unconscious instinct was to grab Emily as soon as she finished using her pet name and the first sob hit her ears.

Not able to take the physical pain burning through her from the sound of Emily's cry, she threw herself to her knees, swiveling to face the red head.

"Tell me now if you want out, if you can't forgive me, if you're hurting to much to try. Tell me now and I'll do everything I can to make this easy for you but if you can want me, if you can love me. I'm yours."

As Emily looked down at the blonde in front of her, she shattered. Her girlfriend was trembling, her lip was quivering but she didn't cry. Her watery eyes were burning in to her own and she knew this was Brave Naomi. This was the girl who she fought so hard to get. This was not the girl who left her lying alone twice or who cheated on her.

"I love you. I do but I can't have you being scared again. You have to want me for good."

Naomi nodded, the gravity of it not escaping her. She was agreeing to forever, this was her last chance and she did not intend to fuck it up again. She tentatively reached out and laid her hands on Emily's knees letting her head fall slightly as she willed her body to remember to breathe.

Emily placed her hands over Naomi's and let herself slump forward until she could place a gentle kiss on Naomi's crown. She could feel her shaking with sobs and she knew it was relief. She knew that though Naomi had yet to answer her, that she had agreed to take their relationship as forever.

When Naomi felt the warmth radiating from Emily as she rested on her head, she couldn't help the sobs that followed. She hadn't lost her. Emily had once again given her another chance. She didn't deserve it but she wouldn't have survived otherwise.

After a few more moments of their awkward position, Emily pulled back causing Naomi's hands to tighten around her leg. .

"Naom's, come sit up." She whispered. At first she was unsure if Naomi had heard her. Her cries were silent but she was still curled over, shoulder's shaking. Eventually though, the blonde lifted her head enough for Emily to see her eyes.

Looking at her girlfriend's swollen eyes and pale lips, she could see the pain she had been drowning under. She had no doubt she looked much the same but for the first time since all of this happened, she didn't want to walk away and let Naomi deal with her own pain, she wanted to stay with her and help make it go away.

Naomi pulled her tired body on to the bed as Emily moved over to her side. Once sat on the bed, she wasn't sure where to go next. Did they talk more? Were they going to lie down?

Reading the blank look on Naomi's face, she pulled back the covers and climbed under, pulling back the covers on the blonde's side making it obvious that Naomi was to join her.

Once under the covers, both girls were lying on their sides, facing each other. Emily made the first move to cross the divide and moved her hand to Naomi's face, first moving the hair from the side of her face then cupping her cheek. Her face was hot and her eyes heavy.

"It's ok." Emily whispered.

Naomi blinked as a tear fell horizontally down her face.

"I don't deserve you. I will spend the rest of my life loving you with everything I have. No more fear. I'll be strong because of you." She promised while pulling Emily's hand from her face and holding it to her chest.

Emily leaned forward and placed her lips on Naomi's. It was soft and quick, just as much as she could manage at the moment.

Naomi's eyes remainder closed for a split second. This is the Emily she missed. Earlier that day when Emily had kissed her, she'd felt violated. She never wanted to feel that again.

Emily rested her forehead on Naomi's as she savored the closeness. Frowning she realized that Naomi was shivering.

"Naoms?"

"hmm?"

"You didn't change out of your wet clothes until I came in here, did you?"

Naomi shook her head. "I wasn't thinking. Then Katie hogged the bathroom."

Emily frowned. She'd made Naomi sick. She cringed thinking about that moment again.

"No more. It's done. We look forward now." Naomi said simply, as if reading her mind.

Emily nodded, shaking the thoughts form her head. She kissed Naomi's cheek before shuffling flush to the blonde and wrapping her arms around the taller girl.

Naomi's gratefully snuggled against Emily's chest, feeling too comforted to do anything but snuggle deeper.

"Close your eyes." Emily whispered against her hair. Naomi done as instructed but only after securing her arms around Emily's waist.

"I love you." She mumbled. Followed by an almost inaudible, "thank you."

Emily held her tighter. "I love you." She said to her girlfriend as she felt her body relax and give in to the exhaustion that had been haunting them both for weeks.

As she lay there holding on to the blonde, she took a breath. In and out. It was that simple, yet it felt like the first time she had been able to do that since all of this started.

Closing her eyes, she let it all drift away. The healing was far from over but at least now it had started.


End file.
